Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot
It is so friggin' hot here this week, I think I might actually spontaneously combust. At what temperature do you think my flesh will start on fire? Any takers? It's 101 already, and it's not even noon. I've gotten nothing done all week, because just the effort of sitting on the couch makes me sweat like a hog. Movement or physical exertion is out of the question. I'm like a fat kid running in corduroy - disaster is just around the corner. And our city pool closed down. The pipes were leaking some kind of noxious junk under the pool. They're not sure if they'll even fix it, or if they'll just close it for good. How dumb is that? Not that I go to the city pool, but I'd like to know it's there, in case I ever decide to showcase my lily white gut rolls for the public. Cheapskate idiots.
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In honor of Spirit of Owl's post, here's a little pic for him:
You gotta watch those suckers. They're pretty quick.
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The weirdest thing happened. I was browsing through the other blogs today, and there are about 50 blogs of the same information under a bunch of different names. Apparently, they're nudie pics and videos of celebrities or some such crap. There are links to teen porn and pervo stuff on each of the blogs. Somebody has way too much time on their hands. Stellar, quit playing around and update your own blog instead of making more. :P
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Some friends of mine are moving to South Carolina. They haven't even sold their house here yet. The guy has been having health problems for awhile, and they want to be near their kids. His eyesight keeps rapidly getting worse, and he can't even see to read now. His wife says they want to leave within the next couple weeks, while he can still drive. Excuse me? Oh, yes, that makes sense. Put the near blind man behind the wheel of a moving death machine for a 2 day driving trip before it all goes dark. So, if you live anywhere near SC, you might not want to drive on any main highways for the next week or two. You'll thank me later.
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In honor of Spirit of Owl's post, here's a little pic for him:
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The weirdest thing happened. I was browsing through the other blogs today, and there are about 50 blogs of the same information under a bunch of different names. Apparently, they're nudie pics and videos of celebrities or some such crap. There are links to teen porn and pervo stuff on each of the blogs. Somebody has way too much time on their hands. Stellar, quit playing around and update your own blog instead of making more. :P
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Some friends of mine are moving to South Carolina. They haven't even sold their house here yet. The guy has been having health problems for awhile, and they want to be near their kids. His eyesight keeps rapidly getting worse, and he can't even see to read now. His wife says they want to leave within the next couple weeks, while he can still drive. Excuse me? Oh, yes, that makes sense. Put the near blind man behind the wheel of a moving death machine for a 2 day driving trip before it all goes dark. So, if you live anywhere near SC, you might not want to drive on any main highways for the next week or two. You'll thank me later.
posted by trinamick at 12:33 PM
12 Comments:
I'm generous to a fault. What can I say?
We went through the heat wave a couple of weeks ago. I'm surprised all of me is here to post about it. Figures none of the flabby parts would melt off.
Don't tell me: the caption for that photo was "Escar-GO." Am I right?
It wasn't, but it should have been.
It was, "If you own a French restaurant, do not buy mini Razor Scooters, because your food will use them to escape." Pretty explicit directions, actually.
"I'm like a fat kid running in corduroy - disaster is just around the corner."
hahahahahahahahaha. Damn. That's funny.
"His wife says they want to leave within the next couple weeks, while he can still drive. Excuse me? Oh, yes, that makes sense. Put the near blind man behind the wheel of a moving death machine for a 2 day driving trip before it all goes dark. So, if you live anywhere near SC, you might not want to drive on any main highways for the next week or two. You'll thank me later."
I'll be sure to warn my parents and my sister. ;)
The worst thing? When you stand after you've been sitting for awhile and the backs of your knees are sweaty. Ugh!
Please write a book, I will buy the first copy. You are hilarious!
Or when you've sat down on a leather chair in the heat, start to stand up, and your sweaty flesh makes that farting noise in public. And nobody will believe the "it was the chair" line.
It was that hot here last week, when my A/C wasn't working. Now its working like a charm and its int he 70's. Go figya.
Try to keep cool!
You see how valuable that muu muu would'a been today?
I don't believe it. I missed this completely yesterday! What's wrong with me??!!!
Snails ROCK!
I had a ten minute phone conversation with a guy from South Carolina. He was on my friend's mobile phone. My friend told me that this guy was called Kevin, and he weighed 32 stone. Anyway, Kevin asked me if I knew where South Carolina was. I said just below North Carolina. That was the first fifteen seconds of the conversation. The rest was waiting for him to stop wheezing, and finally say, "Yeah, you god thad righd." Oh, they must be happy in Carolina.
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