To The Bat Cave!
It was 9:00 in the morning. I was sitting at my desk, working hard to earn my wages. Ok, so I might have been playing Zuma, but that's not important. Suddenly, I hear a shriek of horror from the middle office. I rush in there, thinking that perhaps the copier/fax/printer/scanner has fallen on my unsuspecting coworker, and they will have to get the jaws of life to get it off her. Wishing no ill on that particular secretary, but that just would have been cool to see.
She was standing in front of the paper cabinet, doors open, her eyes wide in horror. There in the cabinet laid a bat. A dead bat. It was only about 3 inches long, like a mini vampire. At first, I thought it was fake, but upon closer inspection I discovered it was furry. And kinda cute, in a corpselike way. We decided to put it in a Ziploc bag and take it to the vet the next day. No sign of how it got in a cupboard that is always closed.
The next morning I came to work, sat down in my chair and started chatting with the same secretary. All of a sudden, she looks over my shoulder and says, "Now don't freak out when you turn around, but there's a bat lying on the floor behind you." No freaking out, right. I casually spin my chair around to see another bat on top of my vent. Slightly larger than the other one, this bat was about 6-8 inches long, also furry, also having gone to the big Transylvania in the sky. It went into another Ziploc bag and entered cold storage with its buddy.
When we came to work the next day, we immediately headed into the second secretary's office to inspect it. Since they seemed to be getting larger each day, I half expected to see a 4 ft tall one sitting in her chair, drinking a cup of coffee and playing Freecell. But there were none to be found. I started to think maybe she was the one planting them, but then I realized she's too short to reach the cupboard door.
We called our buddy the exterminator to check the place out. Turned out that our office, which has an upstairs and attic we don't use, has over the years become infested with bats. When he went up there, he saw about 7 bats, which according to him, means that there were probably 15 more he didn't see. Isn't that lovely? He informed us that there was about a foot of bat crap all over the floor up there as well. Maybe we can start a guano farm and strike it rich.
He went out to his truck, and came back in with a Red Rider. He headed upstairs, we heard a shot or two, and he came down with a cute but dead bat in a jar. He promised he would be back when it got cold and would clear them all out and seal up the joint. Then he sauntered out of the office, carrying the gun out the door. Two old ladies were walking by just then, so he started muttering to himself loudly, "That'll teach him to lose my case!" and jumped into his truck and left. I think they nearly had heart attacks trying to beat each other to the coffee shop to tell the tale.
Since then, there has been no sign of the beasts. The exterminator did come back and seal up the hole. Occasionally, it sounds like something is moving around up there, but nobody is willing to go check. I'm not Bruce Wayne, it's not my problem. But anytime something goes missing, we blame the bats. Mysterious sticky spot left on the counter? Blame the bats. Can't find your stapler? Blame the bats. Computers go on the fritz? Blame the bats. Think I'm being too harsh on them? Then explain why this was on my desktop this morning:
She was standing in front of the paper cabinet, doors open, her eyes wide in horror. There in the cabinet laid a bat. A dead bat. It was only about 3 inches long, like a mini vampire. At first, I thought it was fake, but upon closer inspection I discovered it was furry. And kinda cute, in a corpselike way. We decided to put it in a Ziploc bag and take it to the vet the next day. No sign of how it got in a cupboard that is always closed.
The next morning I came to work, sat down in my chair and started chatting with the same secretary. All of a sudden, she looks over my shoulder and says, "Now don't freak out when you turn around, but there's a bat lying on the floor behind you." No freaking out, right. I casually spin my chair around to see another bat on top of my vent. Slightly larger than the other one, this bat was about 6-8 inches long, also furry, also having gone to the big Transylvania in the sky. It went into another Ziploc bag and entered cold storage with its buddy.
When we came to work the next day, we immediately headed into the second secretary's office to inspect it. Since they seemed to be getting larger each day, I half expected to see a 4 ft tall one sitting in her chair, drinking a cup of coffee and playing Freecell. But there were none to be found. I started to think maybe she was the one planting them, but then I realized she's too short to reach the cupboard door.
We called our buddy the exterminator to check the place out. Turned out that our office, which has an upstairs and attic we don't use, has over the years become infested with bats. When he went up there, he saw about 7 bats, which according to him, means that there were probably 15 more he didn't see. Isn't that lovely? He informed us that there was about a foot of bat crap all over the floor up there as well. Maybe we can start a guano farm and strike it rich.
He went out to his truck, and came back in with a Red Rider. He headed upstairs, we heard a shot or two, and he came down with a cute but dead bat in a jar. He promised he would be back when it got cold and would clear them all out and seal up the joint. Then he sauntered out of the office, carrying the gun out the door. Two old ladies were walking by just then, so he started muttering to himself loudly, "That'll teach him to lose my case!" and jumped into his truck and left. I think they nearly had heart attacks trying to beat each other to the coffee shop to tell the tale.
Since then, there has been no sign of the beasts. The exterminator did come back and seal up the hole. Occasionally, it sounds like something is moving around up there, but nobody is willing to go check. I'm not Bruce Wayne, it's not my problem. But anytime something goes missing, we blame the bats. Mysterious sticky spot left on the counter? Blame the bats. Can't find your stapler? Blame the bats. Computers go on the fritz? Blame the bats. Think I'm being too harsh on them? Then explain why this was on my desktop this morning:
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I'm headed to Vermillion, SD, tonight after work to lend a hand on a building project. I'm staying at the USD dorms, so that should be entertaining. We should have everything finished by Sunday afternoon, and I'll be back on the road for 6 hrs so I can work Monday morning. I may have to sell a kidney to pay for gas. Have a great weekend.
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I'm keeping this day open on my calendar.
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I think it's time for rubber booties.
posted by trinamick at 2:35 PM
15 Comments:
I once found a bat when I was installing vinyl siding on a government building. They are cute, but dang they have long fangs. He was hiding behind the fascia board and I was forced to get rid of him, so I poked him with my carpenter pencil, with which he fought the good fight, then decided to bail. He dropped down and spread his wings to an incredible length. There is something creepy about bats that connects to the illogical fear button in the recesses of the brain.
One of the summers I worked at camp some of the cabins got infested with bats. People were finding them floating dead in the toilets in the morning! ha! Nasty!
Thanks for sharing the bat story...so when I lose stuff can I blame those bats even though I am in Boston? You think it will work?
Sure. Bats can live just about anywhere. Or you could blame it on hobos.
I grew up with bat infestation in my parent's home. I never became used to bats as I was always told, "Cover your head or they'll nest in your hair." To this day, if one flies overhead (I live in the forest), I'm patting my head down to make sure my 'do has become a batcave ... literally.
Finally we have the Bat Story!
Thanks, Trina for sharing!
Have a safe trip.
Ew bats...
In my former office, we had ghetto mice that walked around like they owned the place. Like they would crawl on our desks while we were sitting at them. Ghe-tto.
I don't mind mice, but I wouldn't want them on my desk, either. Critters need to stay outside. If they invade my space, they must suffer my wrath.
Mooning trains? Don't those kids have anything better to do?
They can't afford the gas to drive down the interstate mooning truckers.
You know, I like the ideas of blaming it on hobos. lol.
I'm just wondering what exactly a bat would do with a stapler?
In case he had a wing fall off.
"I'm headed to Vermillion, SD, tonight after work to lend a hand on a building project."
Is this a Habitats for Humanity kind of thing?
A church-like quick build. Concrete gets laid on Wednesday, everything is finished by Sunday (landscaping and all).
That's great, Trina. You're the best!
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